I’m going to make this very short and sweet this week, as I’m feeling rather under the weather thanks to the cold I caught from my wife. I should have known I would eventually catch it, but I felt optimistic. Nonetheless, I will battle through and give the loyal followers and readers of my blog something to entertain themselves.
In trying to figure out what to write about this week, it was tough. The fantasy playoffs are on the way or are currently in progress, and some leagues turn off the waiver wire so you can’t adjust your lineup from this point on out, making it pointless to talk about picking guys up. All that’s left on a week in and week out basis is to decide who to start/ sit, to which you can easily e-mail me at mattymccall@gmail.com, and I’ll let you know my opinion, or you can check out the rankings. So an article about starting/sitting players was pretty much pointless.
I could do another matchup column, but really, I think I covered that back in Week 12 with my Random Musings Column. So if you have a question about matchups, you can e-mail me about that as well.
So then what to write about?
Well, as I’ve been now doing my blog since Week 5, I think with a slight modicum of success, I find myself reflecting on the lessons that I’ve learned so far as not just a fantasy football player, but a person who professes to be an expert and creates and writes opinions about fantasy football. For instance, I’ve learned that it takes way more time to keep an updated blog about fantasy football than I thought. I’ve learned that you can’t be 100% correct. I’ve learned more than ever that fantasy football is about 5% analyzing and 95 % luck. And etc. etc.
So in keeping with that theme, I would like to tell you things I’ve learned about the NFL this year.
Lesson #1: Domed stadiums above the Mason/Dixon Line should be made out of materials that allow for snow to pile up. If you haven’t seen the video of the Metrodome collapsing in Minnesota, you have to google it and watch. It’s pretty awesome.
Lesson #2: Randy Moss has completely disappeared from the NFL. He didn’t even get one single target against the Colts on the Thursday game this past week. First time ever in his career.
Lesson #3: The commissioner, Roger Goodell, has way too much power. He basically doles out punishment however he sees fit and runs the league like a dictator.
Lesson #4: I think the Houston Texans are a doomed franchise. They manage to get the lead in the 4th quarter almost every week and end up losing somehow in the end. They may never make the playoffs.
Lesson #5: Ryan Grant, who was injured in week 1 when the Packers played the Eagles and has been out ever since, is most likely going to be the reason why Green Bay not only doesn’t win the Super Bowl as everyone thought, but most likely will be the reason the Packers don’t make the playoffs at all.
Lesson #6: Brett Favre is a huge douchebag and likes to texts pictures of little Favre to women.
Lesson #7: Chris Johnson of the Tennessee Titans has physical terrets. His head is always twitching, and I think it’s awesome, cause if I’m a linebacker watching his head twitch all over the place, I’m slightly scared.
Lesson #8: The New England Patriots have to be the best snow team ever. I swear they play better in a blizzard than they do in perfect weather.
Lesson #9: Andre Johnson of the Houston Texans is the most physically gifted receiver in the NFL bar none.
Lesson #10: The New York Jets can stop the run, but cannot stop the pass. So much for Revis Island.
Lesson #11: Peyton Hillis is the best white running back in the 29 years that I have been alive. Real glad I picked him up off waivers in fantasy football.
Lesson #12: There’s a reason that Jimmy Clausen went in the 4th round of the NFL Draft to the Carolina Panthers.
Lesson #13: The Panthers should have drafted Colt McCoy instead of letting him go to Cleveland.
Lesson #14: Good job Cleveland, cause McCoy is the real deal. He’s a legit NFL QB who just knows how to win. Also, this makes Mike Holmgren a genius for drafting him.
Lesson #15: Jake Delhomme may be the best ever, except for Brett Favre, in throwing an interception or fumbling at completely the worst possible time in a game. So again, good on Cleveland for drafting McCoy.
Lesson #16: Matt Ryan truly is “Matty Ice.”
Lesson #17: The Atlanta Falcons get no credit for being a legit Super Bowl contender.
Lesson #18: Michael Vick is the best athlete in the world. And if anyone remembers the commercial where he throws the ball into the stands from a ridiculous distance, I’m now convinced it was real.
Lesson #19: Marion Barber needs to leave the Cowboys and resurrect his career somewhere else.
Lesson #20: The Saints offense is absolutely ridiculous. They have about 10 legit weapons, which is unheard of.
Lesson #21: Albert Hanyesworth is the second biggest douchebag after Brett Favre.
Lesson #22: Mike Wallace and DeSean Jackson are the two of the fastest players I’ve ever seen wear a set of pads.
Lesson #23: The Cincinnati Bengals are pathetic. They have now list 10 in a row, and if they lose their next 3 games, it might be 13 straight losses. I doubt Marvin Lewis keeps his job, even though he really is a good coach.
Lesson #24: 3rd worst QB at blowing the game when the game is on the line, Carson Palmer.
Lesson #25: Every team wants a Wes Welker. The only guy who has the chance to be Welker, and maybe even a better advanced version of him, is Jordan Shipley. He is the lone bright spot for Cincinnati this year.
Lesson #26: The NFC west is pathetic. I hate having to watch any game that involves any of the teams (Arizona Cardinals, St. Louis Rams, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks).
Lesson #27: Philip Rivers can throw the ball to anyone who has a pulse, as the Chargers receiving corps has been decimated by injuries, but Rivers keeps on ticking.
Lesson #28: If Matthew Stafford can stay healthy, the Lions have something going.
Lesson #29: Rashard Mendenhall loves to tap the circle button on his real life PS3 controller. I swear he spins on every carry. How he doesn’t fumble more is beyond me.
Lesson #30: As long as Bill Bellicheck and Tom Brady are on the same team, they will compete every year for the best record and always have a chance to win the Super Bowl. And I hate that is true, because I really don’t like the Patriots at all.
I could go on and on and on with lessons that I’ve learned, but I’ll stop there. Maybe you enjoyed it; maybe you didn’t, I’m too sick at the moment to care to be honest. But if you’re in the fantasy playoffs, good luck and I hope you win!!
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